Flashing Lights

Ladies, How Many T.O.N.Y.'s Do We Have To Go Through Until We Realize Mr. Right Is Starring Us In The Face?

Ladies, How Many T.O.N.Y.'s Do We Have To Go Through Until We Realize Mr. Right Is Starring Us In The Face?

Written by Evian from Flashing Lights Weblog

I was jamming to Solange's song T.O.N.Y. and pondering on what the song really means. She is actually talking about a one night stand. But I want to touch on T.O.N.Y. from a different perspective because I could go on and on about the effects a one night stand has on a woman but i'll save that for another time. I want to talk about how T.O.N.Y. could be a couple of those ex boyfriends we may have had that damaged us so badly emotionally that we don't know how to accept a man who is actually wants something deeper than just sexually. I can speak for myself when I say I still have alot of baggage from past T.O.N.Y.'s that I need to get rid of because I seem to loose men that I think could potentially be relationship material. But because I am not willing to let go of things previous T.O.N.Y.'s have done to me I ruin relationships that could have lead to something more if I was willing to open up and let them show me how a real man is supposed to treat a woman. I could sit around and make excuses and say well I didn't grow up witnessing what a real man is supposed to bring forth in a relationship or keep on pondering what past men have done to me. But now i'm realizing that I need to stop making all men pay for my past T.O.N.Y.'s because I may one day miss out on that one guy that really wants to get to know who I am and could potentially be my soul mate. I'm finished with T.O.N.Y.'s, so if you are one do not approach me, I want a man that's going to be real with his. I'm officially through with B.S. 

*Side Note* For those that don't know, the subliminal acronym for T.O.N.Y. simply means "The Other Night Why (Did I Do That?)." This song is about a one night stand but I'm talking about T.O.N.Y. in the sense of a boyfriend or husband you may have had that is keeping you from getting and keeping a really good man. If you haven't had the chance to hear T.O.N.Y. CLICK HERE to enjoy the tunes. Oh yea and I decided to decline on posting a picture with this because I didn't want to offend anyone. I could name a number of men who's picture I could have used as a T.O.N.Y. culprit. Speak on this topic ladies, men you can even put your two cents in if you want to.

Are You Somebody's Temporary Fix?

Are You Somebody's Temporary Fix?

Written By: Evian from Flashing Lights Weblog

"... Say that it's always been me that made you feel the way you never felt before and I'm all you need and you'll never want more. Then you say all of the right things without a clue but you'd save the best for last like i'm the one for you. You should know that your just a temporary fix...Your just a filler in this space that happened to be free. How dare you think you get away with trying to play me?" Lyrics from the song "The Best For Last" off  Adele's cd entitled 19  

Ok, i'm not one to do personal blogging but I am so pissed today I had to write this. I was listening to my girl Adele song "The Best For Last" and there a verse in the song where she mentions being someone's temporary fix and being a filler for someone else. Get the cd if you don't have it ladies, the songs on there showcase girl power for sure. Where do men get off thinking that you are so stupid and don't know that there's another or other chicks he's dieing to have sex with that he calls his "friends." Let me remind you these hoe's already have a couple of other friends to so they would be more than happy to get with him not on an intellectual level but on a sexual one because they know he'll take them up on their offer. Bitches now a days are " thirsty " so their willing to take what's yours in a hot minute. Now I am not one to compete for a guy. So if I find out he's messing around and I will you better believe that, I will no longer be dealing with his sorry ass point blink. There is not going to be let's talk about it, let's work this out fuck that it's over. Why would you even entertain the thought of getting with some hoe anyway when you have a good woman at home. That's another topic I want to touch men say they want a classy women and all this other shit they talk but still mess with a bitch that they wouldn't even think about taking home to meet their mother. What the hell is that about? Oh yes and men please stop trying to manipulate women with this phrase "If you won't do it for me, I know someone who will." Only hoe's and women who feel that's the only way to keep a man fall for this shit.  Why would something like that come out of your damn mouth anyway. This makes me think... no let me rephrase that this only confirms that you are fucking someone else. It also shows the lack of interest you had in me from the beginning. It also shows the lack of respect you have for me. I was seen as a piece of ass to you when you met me so you just wanted to wait a couple of months to say some dumb shit like that to me to see if you could get in my pants. I have made alot of bad choices in the past and I'm ending this destructive pattern of getting into relationships that I know are toxic from the beginning. Right now I'm focusing on me and trying to figure out what I want out of a relationship so I don't end up with another triflin'motherfucker. I just want a man who is only looking at me, that must be to much to ask. Women we all need to realize we are worth more than being someone's "Bust It Baby" or "Bottom Girl" we deserve way more than alot of men are willing to give us. I could go on and on because I'm so mad but I won't. Sorry about all the cussing. So what are your thoughts?